Migraine & Headache Awareness Month Photo Challenge, Day 4: pain

Migraine & Headache Awareness Month continues, as does the daily Photo Challenge. I have to keep reminding myself that, in participating in this challenge, 1) it's called a "challenge" for a reason, and 2) I'm "taking one for the team," for the purpose of spreading awareness, which is very important to me. So, if I'm committed to shining light on my illness, I have to share the grizzlier parts of my day-to-day, and that's that. But you wouldn't believe how I stall when I'm ready to send a photo out. (Notice, I'm a day behind-- not because I missed a day, but because of the stalling!) The Cringe-Factor is off the charts, so I pretty much hate it, and it's only Day 4. (Adding it to the Discuss In Therapy list...) But whatever. I'm not quitting, so let's just get on with it.

Today's prompt is "pain," and it's one of the grizzlier ones. I mean, how do I open the door and show just anybody who wants to look the reality of the pain that has come with my having Chronic Daily Migraine for ten years, and "Just Chronic" (ha) for the decades before that?! ("Here are my scars and other open wounds, if anybody might wanna take a look at em...") It feels incredibly daunting. And gross. And I don't want to. 

But, the truth is, it's often unspeakable. Sometimes, it's so bad that I find myself holding my breath, because even the slowest, least detectable movement of air through my system makes it worse. Not often, but enough to know it well. On a daily basis, though, no matter the severity, if there's pain, it's pretty soul-crushing. Profoundly disappointing. A rotten, daily betrayal by my own body. My pain is a bully, hiding in the bushes, waiting to beat me to a pulp, and drag me into a dark basement, so he can do it again, whenever he feels like it. A nightmare. A saboteur. An enemy I'm forced to live with, and take with me everywhere. But I do, and I have, and I will, and I cling to my faith that, even at its worst, all is as it should be, and that there is a lesson in each moment I endure it. 

I hate the way all of those descriptions sound, because they have such a heavy, poisonous energy wrapped up in them, but I know that to tell it without it would be a lie. The way I look at the world is through a lens of gratitude, which is making it really difficult to fight the urge to write a paragraph that balances out all that dark, negative stuff with a list of blessings. I know that's the lesson here, though. I know I have to let them just hang there, and stay there, and let them just be what they are.

Pain is a cruel, cruel monster. A horror. 

That's enough. I did it. Thanks for reading.

--Kimmy

If you suffer from migraines, or you'd like to know more about it, and how it affects real, live people, feel free to check out and/or subscribe to my Migraine list on Twitter: Migraine Tweeps & Resources on Twitter. As always, thank you for your interest.

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Migraine & Headache Awareness Month Photo Challenge, Day 3: sleep

Today's prompt for the Migraine & Headache Awareness Month Photo Challenge is "sleep," and, boy, howdy, do I ever need some. My photo was inspired by "the lengths I would go to" (yes, that gets me singing "Losing My Religion," too, which is an incredibly beautiful song, so hey, yeah, you're welcome.) -- you just don't know the drugs I've taken, the accessories I've worn, the lotions and potions I put on my body, OH my goodness, mercy, please, just to get some good, restful sleep. Nothing's doin' it for me, though. Close... but no cigahhh.

It's been weeks, and I need it, y'all. I just really, really do.

If you'd like to know more about Migraine, and how it affects real, live people, feel free to check out and/or subscribe to my Migraine list on Twitter: Migraine Tweeps & Resources on Twitter. Thanks for your interest.

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Migraine & Headache Awareness Month Photo Challenge, Day 2: alone, lonely

Migraine & Headache Awareness Month Photo Challenge, Day 2: alone, lonely

For the record, I really hate sharing this private stuff, but I made a commitment to being willing to be vulnerable for the sake of Migraine Awareness, so I'm doing it. 

Migraine & Headache Awareness Month Photo Challenge, Day 2: alone, lonely. I just dug this out of my trash can in my bedroom. When I have unusual severe pain, I leave a note, in case anybody needs to know if anything unusual had happened before I'd fallen asleep. #MHAM #MHAMPC

If you'd like to know more about Migraine, and how it affects real, live people, feel free to check out and/or subscribe to my Migraine list on Twitter: Migraine Tweeps & Resources on Twitter. Thanks for your interest.

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June is Migraine & Headache Awareness Month!

Woohoo! It's our MONTH! YAY. Let's talk about headaches. Although it's not my favorite topic in the world, it's one that affects me every day, so it is very important to me. This month, I intend to participate in the Migraine & Headache Awareness Month Photo Challenge, which is intended to give you a peek inside what it's like, in my case, to live with Chronic Daily Migraine. Each day, I will post a photo inspired by an assigned theme. Having seen the scheduled prompts, I know that it will be an interesting collection of pictures, and I have made a commitment to myself to best serve the Migraine community by being as truthful as possible. No sugar coating it. (But it won't all be grizzly, as you'll see today.)

Let's begin, shall we? 

Photo Challenge, Day 1: comfort, peace, coping

Here are some explanations of what's in the picture, since this is really about raising awareness, and not promoting vague, themed photos...

comfort: 

Those are my NAP blankets, sleep mask, and my "Soft Friend," as Warner (my nephew) calls them. Also, my Kindle will read to me, which makes me very happy. So will the Audible app, for books purchased on Audible.com -- The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay does absolute wonders for getting my mind away from my brain, if that makes sense. Sometimes, especially during the marathon attacks, which last 10 or more hours, it's hard to get my thoughts on something other than what's going on in my body (and how I feel about it).

peace: 

meditation, whether on my own, or guided by Andrew Johnson's apps (represented by the t-shirt, bottom-right). My Mom taught me how to do a body scan when I was very young, so that is my go-to, when things start to get rough. I'm lucky to be able to hear her voice in my head when I do it, too-- one more point for comfort!

coping: 

Sprite for the nausea. Baby ones (in the little glass bottles). Chewable Vitamin C when I'm dehydrated, but don't want to drink another drop-- chewing one somehow makes forcing water down easier. Pringles for the salt cravings I get about an hour after having vomited. (Or whenever-- I love me some Pringles.) My favorite dōTERRA oils-- I always have my bedside diffuser running, in order to help keep me as calm, stress-free, and positive-minded as possible. (Wild Orange and Bergamot are my favorite, scent-wise) and I put a drop of Frankincense on the roof of my mouth at the onset of an attack. Occasionally, it helps the migraine start to break itself up, but it always helps me begin to settle down, if I start to get hysterical from the pain.

Tomorrow, "Photo Challenge, Day 2: alone, lonely." Yay... ;p

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