Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Migraine & Headache Awareness Month Photo Challenge, Day 4: pain

Migraine & Headache Awareness Month continues, as does the daily Photo Challenge. I have to keep reminding myself that, in participating in this challenge, 1) it's called a "challenge" for a reason, and 2) I'm "taking one for the team," for the purpose of spreading awareness, which is very important to me. So, if I'm committed to shining light on my illness, I have to share the grizzlier parts of my day-to-day, and that's that. But you wouldn't believe how I stall when I'm ready to send a photo out. (Notice, I'm a day behind-- not because I missed a day, but because of the stalling!) The Cringe-Factor is off the charts, so I pretty much hate it, and it's only Day 4. (Adding it to the Discuss In Therapy list...) But whatever. I'm not quitting, so let's just get on with it.




Today's prompt is "pain," and it's one of the grizzlier ones. I mean, how do I open the door and show just anybody who wants to look the reality of the pain that has come with my having Chronic Daily Migraine for ten years, and "Just Chronic" (ha) for the decades before that?! ("Here are my scars and other open wounds, if anybody might wanna take a look at em...") It feels incredibly daunting. And gross. And I don't want to. 

But, the truth is, it's often unspeakable. Sometimes, it's so bad that I find myself holding my breath, because even the slowest, least detectable movement of air through my system makes it worse. Not often, but enough to know it well. On a daily basis, though, no matter the severity, if there's pain, it's pretty soul-crushing. Profoundly disappointing. A rotten, daily betrayal by my own body. My pain is a bully, hiding in the bushes, waiting to beat me to a pulp, and drag me into a dark basement, so he can do it again, whenever he feels like it. A nightmare. A saboteur. An enemy I'm forced to live with, and take with me everywhere. But I do, and I have, and I will, and I cling to my faith that, even at its worst, all is as it should be, and that there is a lesson in each moment I endure it. 

I hate the way all of those descriptions sound, because they have such a heavy, poisonous energy wrapped up in them, but I know that to tell it without it would be a lie. The way I look at the world is through a lens of gratitude, which is making it really difficult to fight the urge to write a paragraph that balances out all that dark, negative stuff with a list of blessings. I know that's the lesson here, though. I know I have to let them just hang there, and stay there, and let them just be what they are.

Pain is a cruel, cruel monster. A horror. 

That's enough. I did it. Thanks for reading.

--Kimmy

If you suffer from migraines, or you'd like to know more about it, and how it affects real, live people, feel free to check out and/or subscribe to my Migraine list on Twitter: Migraine Tweeps & Resources on Twitter. As always, thank you for your interest.


1 comment:

Unknown said...

Irrespective of receiving daily oral or future injectable depot therapies, these require health care visits for medication and monitoring of safety and response. If patients are treated early enough, before a lot of immune system damage has occurred, life expectancy is close to normal, as long as they remain on successful treatment. However, when patients stop therapy, the virus rebounds to high levels in most patients, sometimes associated with severe illness because I have gone through this and even an increased risk of death. The aim of “cure”is ongoing but I still do believe my government made millions of ARV drugs instead of finding a cure. for ongoing therapy and monitoring. ARV alone cannot cure HIV as among the cells that are infected are very long-living CD4 memory cells and possibly other cells that act as long-term reservoirs. HIV can hide in these cells without being detected by the body’s immune system. Therefore even when ART completely blocks subsequent rounds of infection of cells, reservoirs that have been infected before therapy initiation persist and from these reservoirs HIV rebounds if therapy is stopped. “Cure” could either mean an eradication cure, which means to completely rid the body of reservoir virus or a functional HIV cure, where HIV may remain in reservoir cells but rebound to high levels is prevented after therapy interruption.Dr Itua Herbal Medicine makes me believes there is a hope for people suffering from,Parkinson's disease,Schizophrenia,Lung Cancer,Breast Cancer,Lupus,Lyme Disease,psoriasis,Colo-Rectal Cancer,Blood Cancer,Prostate Cancer,siva,Epilepsy Dupuytren's disease,Desmoplastic small-round-cell tumor Diabetes ,Coeliac disease,Brain Tumor,Fibromyalgia,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma Infectious mononucleosis. .Asthma,Allergic diseases.Hiv_ Aids,Herpe ,Copd,Glaucoma., Cataracts,Macular degeneration,Cardiovascular disease,Chronic Myelo ,Lung disease,Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis,Dementia.(measles, tetanus, whooping cough, tuberculosis, polio and diphtheria),Chronic Diarrhea,Hpv,All Cancer Types,Diabetes,Hepatitis, I read about him online how he cure Tasha and Tara so i contacted him on drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com / . even talked on whatsapps +2348149277967 believe me it was easy i drank his herbal medicine for two weeks and i was cured just like that isn't Dr Itua a wonder man? Yes he is! I thank him so much so I will advise you if you are suffering from one of those diseases Pls do contact him he's a nice man.